Change. It's tough. It takes time. It takes (conscious) effort ... and a lot of people don't like it.
I have a big goal - to accelerate the rate of change for equitable representation of women in the workplace, at every level, so that in my lifetime we can take gender off the table.
Why is this big? Because even though women participate at roughly the same level as men in the private sector, only 1/3 of executive roles are filled by women and half that again for board Chairs. To achieve equitable representation at CEO level will take 80 years. That's right, 8-0. I'll be close to 130... or more likely, 6 foot under (I mean, God help everyone if I'm still kicking about at 130).
I talk about this goal with a lot of people and I get a mixed bag of responses and reactions. At one end I'm applauded and at the other end I'm challenged about whether there really is inequitable representation.
So, here's my two cents.
Unequivocally there is an inequity. There is an imbalance. The scales are weighted, generally, in favour of our male counterparts.
There are a multitude of reasons for this - infrastructure, social norms, skill, expertise, readiness and dare I say it, personal preference (on both sides of the equation). In every situation, the mix of reasons is complex and somewhat different. Whatever the reasons, the inequity exists.
So how do we solve it? What do we do?
If I had THE answer, then I'd bet you $1m (and more) that someone else would have found it first!
What I do know is that the solutions are every bit as complex as the reasons and that it's not up to everyone else to solve them.
Each one of us has to be part of the solution.
I've had many conversations recently about this very subject and a common response is the question "Do we really need to fix women, or should we be changing men?".
It's a great question. Why? Two things:
It highlights the way we commonly approach the subject. It speaks to a Them vs Us approach, pitting Men vs Women. It feels like we're blaming men - which leads me to the second point.
We're making victims out of women. Yep, I said it. It feels like we're handing control and responsibility for the change and outcomes to anyone other than ourselves. Are we really 'damsels in distress'? Is that how we want to be seen? It's definitely not for me.
Here's what's going on in my head as I think about that question.
1. Them vs Us
The majority of men that I've worked with and interact with, support women and support equity. The majority look for the individual with the best skillset, experience and approach for the roles they fill. Do they get it right, all the time? Nope. But you know what, nor do I! They're well intentioned, they listen, they ask questions, they ask for input and my perspective. They're the ones I call allies.
And here's one of the great things about allies. They may be able to influence others who we don't consider allies.
Typically we build relationships with allies - we draw them close, we find common ground and values and we work together to achieve our shared vision. There's give and take, mutual respect and a genuine desire to maximise opportunities and success (there's that growth mindset).
So it seems the Them vs Us perspective is counterintuitive and counterproductive. Not many close relationships survive constant criticism, nor an approach that implies that for women to 'win', men must in some way 'lose' (the fixed mindset). Even with the most supportive of allies, the win v lose approach takes its toll.
As in everything we do (all of us, women & men), we have to know our audience and speak to that audience. We do it at work, obviously, and we do it with family & friends, so it follows that we should do it with our allies as well.
We're trying to balance the scales, right? So, I'm calling time on the Them v Us approach.
2. Damsels in distress
I cringe at the very thought. It conjures up images of (young) women in towers being rescued by Prince Charming.
Let me tell you something - that fairytale is well past its "Use by" date.
Women don't need rescuing, we need change. We need opportunities and we need a voice.
What's more, we don't need men to give either of these things to us.
We've earned them and we keep earning them.
We need to recognise our opportunities, create more and then use them.
We need to find our voice and use it.
We want a say, we want different outcomes, we want to not only contribute, but to set and drive the agenda. I mean, it's only fair. Equitable representation is our agenda. (OK, it's actually everyone's because the stats show that performance improves as representation improves and that's great for everyone.)
We can demand men change and insist it's up to them - but that, to me at least, is the very opposite of what we're striving for.
I'm no damsel in distress, thanks very much, and in all honesty, I know very, very few women who are.
So take away the damsels in distress and what do we have? We have superheroes. Women with guts, women with determination. Enthusiastic women who can build networks, influence and create outcomes with the very best, or even better than the very best, out there. Women who are an example for everyone. Women who are told they're 'enthusiastic' and reply with "Thanks so much, I love that!".
What would happen if we gutsy, enthusiastic, determined women superheroes just started showing up? Finding another seat at the table? Squeezing in, refusing to be shushed? What would happen if we said "I have an idea!" and invited others to see our vision and expand it for the benefit of everyone?
This is why I believe equity is my responsibility. I'm not going to cede responsibility and accountability to someone else, to action what they think I want. I'm not leaving it up to someone else to give me an opportunity or to speak for me. Nope, it's up to me.
My future is up to me.
Just as your future is up to you.
What could we achieve if we each took responsibility? We may all have different destinations in mind, and that's OK. Moving forward together creates much greater momentum and that's really hard to stop. That kind of momentum draws people in and it amplifies the impact of every one of us.
So hand me the superhero uniform (oh God, does it really have to be tight?). I have a big goal to achieve and I'd love you to join me.
("Disney princesses as superheroes" image by Robby via cartoon cookie.tumbler. Pretty cool, huh!)
SH
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Sandy is an executive and business coach with over 30yrs experience in thinking about business and people differently, driving change and making things happen.
Find the guts to love what you do and be the very best you can be, on your terms... work with Sandy.
Capital Idea - strengths-based coaching to be the best that you can be.
Amplifying the impact of women leaders to create extraordinary futures.
Committed to Extraordinary.